Massage & Grief
In the depths of your pain & sorrow how could you possibly even consider getting a massage? This particular post is very personal to me and as you read you will understand not only why you should get a massage but understand the empathy poured into you at what could quite possibly be your weakest moment. I share my story because it was intended to be shared so that someone else could benefit from it.
Many people who have yet to meet me only see the picture on a website. Or perhaps the reviews on Google have formed what you may think stands behind my practice. To hear my story, you will understand why I pour my heart and soul into every session.
I began my Massage Career by enrolling in school on a whim in 2008. What should have taken 9 months to complete took me a year and a half to complete. During this journey (and we call it a that because it is) not only was I a full-time student, I worked full time to support my family and as quietly as we tried to keep it, I was married to an addict. That in itself was stressful enough. I also had a child who suffered from severe asthma and was in and out of the hospital a lot. During this time unfortunately some major catastrophic events happened including my father's passing unexpectedly of course right before I was scheduled to graduate. My teachers and administrators of course were very compassionate and supportive and placed me on administrative leave, but they did not disconnect with me during that time. My teacher sent me assignments called to check on me and to quiz me LOL :/ and was even ordered to come into the student clinic for massage weekly. I loved and needed it. When I returned to school of course I returned when they are testing on the Nervous system, UGHHHH I'm not ready I'm definitely failing this test. My instructor as well as mentor slowed me down both physically and mentally and spoke calmness and intent into me told me to take my time No one is rushing you No one has a time limit on you take your time. That is exactly what I needed I knocked out with a high C! Awesome since I didn't remember a damn thing!!!
Ok Fast forward to 2012! I have been in the field for quite some time actually exceling in my career loving it!! Unfortunately, it has come with some trauma. My husband and I suffered a few miscarriages, our son suffered a severe asthma attack causing him to be in a coma with a very poor prognosis and life is just one life changing event after another! Life must go on right. Fortunately, being a Massage Therapist I have great clients as well as great colleagues. Clients of course sent love and prayers for recovery and colleagues scheduled me into their books to take my mind of the chaos for just a few moments to breathe. After a very long week in ICU my son made a full recovery, I honestly have never prayed for anything harder than I did to have my son open his eyes and says something anything remotely Charles!! He didn't fail. It was a little vulgar, so I won't repeat it lol. Shortly after his awaking we found out we were going to have our 8th child!!! God works in funny ways. Terrified I would lose another child we didn't tell anyone until we were in our second trimester and in June of 2013 our Miracle Baby was born. A few of you have meet her and all her personality lol).
What could be better life was great our son who wasn't in a coma, He had Graduated from high school, we had our miracle baby my husband was my husband. Life was great until August 23,2013 my life changed forever on this day; I received a call from my mom to get to the hospital immediately she didn't explain why just to get there. I knew it was something with my son we had spoken earlier and he was going in for a breathing treatment since he had a slight cold and was wheezing and had no meds. The hospital was 2 hours away from my home, but I got there in record time. My son had been Life Flighted to the Trauma Center both Lungs had collapsed and was now on
life support. Once the doctors told me his prognosis I collapsed in the hospital and went into complete denial there was no way I was losing my son. Long story short after heat attack number 5 within minutes my husband and I decided to pray for him and remove him from life support. My heart shattered into pieces. I was completely numb I didn't even know where to begin processing the loss of my child he was only 18yrs and 8 days from his 19th birthday. I am not sure how I got through the following days I am pretty sure I was on autopilot. Thankfully my parents (my mom & her wife) tended to the daunting task of the funeral arrangements and all I had to do is sign. Making the announcement to people of his passing seemed so unreal that this is what I am doing two months after my beautiful daughter was born. After leaving the funeral home I called my workplace to inform them I would be on leave and the manager at the time immediately booked me a massage session one because she didn't know what else she could say or do to help me. I accepted and went. Why? Because I knew my heart needed to cry, I needed to process this alone without answering questions without someone apologizing for my loss. I needed to let go of all the pain I was holding onto inside trying to be strong for my other kids and of course my husband. I needed a safe space to be vulnerable.
Why did I share my story? I apologize for the depth of it however as a Massage Therapist I have had so many people lose a loved one and come into my office to experience the same emotional release I did and apologize profusely for it. I always explain to them there is no need for apologies we all grieve differently, and we all heal differently. Healing touch has been used for centuries to promote calm and relaxation so the body can heal naturally.
Whatever you are grieving from loss of a loved one, Job, Relationship whatever it is. Allow yourself some healing time. Should you disclose this information to the therapist? That is up to you however if you have an emotional release (crying or possibly having a panic attack) Your therapist will disengage and ask your permission to continue. Me personally I will offer to end the session if that is a need as well on the flip side you should feel to terminate your session as well. But often we continue and it allows you the time and safe space you need to begin on the journey of healing from your grief.
As I join The Survivors Speak Rally on the Capitol in Austin today I pray as many people as I am able to lay my hands on experience some emotional weight lifted.
If you have any questions or need any information please contact me or leave a comment and I will respond